Settle Less by Leaning into Transformation

We've all been there...working a job that's uninspiring and that's misaligned with who you want to be and what you want to do with your life. When I've been in situations like this in the past, I've felt incomplete, uncommitted, unmotivated, and uninspired. I dreaded going to work...I definitely had a perspective of “have to” vs. a “get to” when it came to work. And the same can hold true for your personal life as well.

This quote by Dr. Martha Beck sums it all up for me, “If your happiness and your work aren't the same thing, you're doing the wrong work, or working the wrong way. Change.” Seems pretty logical. If you're not happy with who you are and what you do, make a change. After all, you're in control of your life. And yet, I find so many people settling for what exists today. Why settle when there are so many opportunities out there?

What I've found is that many people have no idea what they really want to do with their lives. Most people just haven't sat down to seriously think about it. If there was a college course for finding what you want to be when you grow up, I missed it. And then, there's another group of people who know what they really want to do but they simply find excuses to not go after what they want.

What Do You Want To Do?

So, for those of you still settling in life, here are some steps you can take to help you move forward. You must commit yourself to this and spend some time thinking about each question. This is your life we're talking about here, so it's OK to take some time to contemplate each question.

  1. What gives your life meaning? Perhaps there a cause or a social condition that you're committed to remedying. Maybe you passion lies in serving others in some way. Remember, it's quite normal that what gives your life meaning will change as you gain experience in the world. In my case, I am passionate about helping people transform their lives and unleash their potential so they show up bigger in the game of life.

  2. What do you enjoy doing? When you think about this question, think about things that energize you, light your passion pyres, and enable you to spring out of bed in the morning with great anticipation. For me, it's opportunities to coach people throughout the day...whether they are clients or someone I meet on the street.

  3. What are your core values? Your core values are going to help you determine what you want to do and how you want to do things. Understanding your core values will also enable you to examine whether the way you live your life is aligned with your core values so you can make adjustments if need be. Your core values will help you determine the type of organization you want to work for or with. Having experienced a misalignment in core values in the past, I can tell you that it's frustrating and emotionally draining.

  4. What are you good at doing? This is important. Remember that you can supplement natural talent and gain skill in something through training and practice. The question is whether your passion will sustain you through all of the doubts that your mental gremlins will use to block your path. You may want to solicit feedback from other people you trust to get their perspective. I actually did a self assessment and had my wife look over what I wrote to add her perspective as well.

  5. Where does that leave you? This is a big question to contemplate. I suggest that you mull this question over for a while and discuss it with people in your life whom you trust. Before I started Turning Point Consulting, my wife and I had many conversations about the ramifications of me starting this company. I did some brainstorming. I also talked about this with my coach and with my mentor.

  6. What limiting beliefs are holding you back? Now that you have some ideas of what you want to do, what are the gremlins in your head saying? I hear many people tell themselves stories about how they can't do something...whether it's finding another job with similar pay & benefits, switching professions, starting their own business, or something else. The reality is that these people are playing the game of life small. And our world, our society, our families and friends all need us to play much bigger.

Leaning In

After getting answers to these questions, it's time to figure out how you'll move towards taking back control of your life. You may be able to find an opportunity presents itself quickly for you. Or you may get to lean into your transformation by taking things slower, in smaller steps.

As for me, I leaned into my transformation. I started out by consciously applying my coaching skills to various situations that presented themselves in everyday life. This afforded me the opportunity to determine if I was really good at coaching and whether I really loved coaching people. As I got more comfortable with coaching, it became a bigger part of who I am and how I interact with people. I'm to the point now where I use my coaching skills in most of my interactions with other people.

My Commitment to You

If you take this process on and you get stuck along the way, I commit to coaching you through any one part of this process for free. No strings, no gimmicks. Just a commitment from me to support you through a portion of this process. Contact me if you want to schedule a session.

Gary Bamberger